


If I Were You

by Hookedonapirate



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Body Swap, Canon Compliant, Captain Charming Brotp, Captain Swan - Freeform, Captain Swan Secret Santa 2017, F/M, awkward humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-02-18 08:32:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13096341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hookedonapirate/pseuds/Hookedonapirate
Summary: Killian has been trying to have a little pirate with Emma for eight months with no luck, so it's only natural for him to grow envious of the Charmings after they expand their growing family by having twin babies. Meanwhile, David is enjoying the newcomers, but at the same time, he’s feeling exhausted from the strains of fatherhood.After a heated argument between father and son-in-law, Killian and David wish to be in the other's shoes, and when they wake up the next morning, they realize their wishes came true. They've somehow switched bodies and have to find a way to switch back.A 'Freaky Friday' AU Captain Charming styleRated M for language





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [imhookedonaswan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imhookedonaswan/gifts).



> This is a CS Secret Santa gift for the lovely @imhookedonaswan.
> 
> The csss moderator was very clever in sticking us together as we’re both clearly hooked on a swan and a pirate, although I was inspired to write a Captain Charming themed story thanks to your wonderful header. This is the first half of your gift and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it (it was so much fun but honestly I’m a bit nervous about posting it). I enjoyed getting to know you, Justine, and I hope we can stay in contact outside of csss. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
> 
> ~Hannah
> 
> Thank you @rouhn for beta reading and @onceuponaprincessworld for looking it over, and thank you both for encouraging me to write this story!

Killian sits at Granny’s with a glass of rum, watching as David holds his six-month-old baby daughter in his arms. He watches as his father-in-law smiles down at Ruthanne, eyes buzzing with love and wonderment as she lets out a bubbly giggle. Killian has been waiting and hoping and praying to have his own shot at fatherhood. As much as he loves the Charmings, he can’t help but feel envious of them and their family. He and Emma had been trying to have a baby for eight months now and have not had any luck yet. The Charmings, however, just added on to their family recently and ended up moving out of the loft and buying a house to accommodate said family; Snow gave birth to twin babies, a boy and a girl, and David’s been rather occupied lately. Killian misses their long chats at the bar after their tedious shifts at the station. Lately, the prince has been too exhausted from helping Snow take care of two babies and a toddler to stay out late.

The Charming parents bundle up their children and secure their infants in the two-passenger baby stroller before David says something to his wife and kisses her forehead. Killian is unable to hear him, but he can guess what was said. He can guess that David detects his son-in-law’s distressed state from across the room, because after Snow says goodbye to Killian and leaves with the babies while holding onto Neal’s hand, David walks over and sits on the stool next to him. Killian throws back his glass of rum, letting the amber liquid slide down his throat as he sets the glass down, still feeling the burn from the alcohol. He doesn’t look at his father-in-law but he can feel the eyes burning into him like hot coal. The seconds drag by painfully slow until David tears his gaze away and orders a drink, which Killian knows is one of Charming’s tactics for getting him to speak, even if the drink is nonalcoholic. His father-in-law uses the act of drinking as a socialization mechanism rather than a means of quenching his thirst.

“So, do you want to talk about it?” David finally asks after his drink is in his hand.

And normally it works. But right now, Killian is feeling the weight of worry that comes along with trying to conceive. People keep telling him and Emma not to stress, ‘it will happen when you least expect it’, but Killian’s afraid his three-hundred years of existence is catching up to him. He’s afraid he won’t be able to get Emma pregnant the natural way no matter how much they try (they’ve certainly tried A LOT) and sometimes he has to wonder if having babies of their own will ever happen for them.

Killian looks down into his empty glass, emitting a dramatic sigh. “Not really.”

David seems to accept his answer and gives a nod before taking a drink.

If Killian didn’t have alcohol in his system, he probably wouldn’t have said anything, but right now he is frustrated and dejected, feeling the need to silence the negative thoughts in his mind. “It must be nice to be able to create a family so easily.”

And that is the beginning of an argument that Killian hadn’t intended on starting, but he was feeling miserable and discouraged, and for some reason felt the urge to take it out on his best mate.

The altercation grows heated and there’s an exchange of colorful words and the pointing of fingers as they give the diners at Granny’s a show.

Killian ends up grabbing his jacket and storming off, full of adrenaline. He should feel bad about the things he had said, but he’s too upset and fired up.

After running into Regina and muttering a half-sincere apology, he leaves the diner and bursts out into the chilly winter air as feather-like snowflakes fall from the sky. Marching home in a fury of anger, he curses under his breath, the argument playing over and over in his mind.

_“Why is it so easy for you and Snow to have children, but Emma and I can’t even have one?”_

_“You think it’s easy? It’s not easy raising two babies and a toddler! It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Raising children is hard work, and you’re obviously not ready for it if you think it’s so easy! If I were you, I’d be more grateful for the time you and Emma have without children, because once you do, you’re going to miss it!”_

_“Yeah well, if I were you, I’d be more grateful for your family instead of missing your life without kids!”_

_“I only wish I could have time to sit around at Granny’s sulking and feeling sorry for myself like you do!”_

Killian is still seething at David’s words, especially his last comment, _I only wish I could have time to sit around at Granny’s sulking and feeling sorry for myself, like you do!,_ which is running through his mind on a never-ending loop.He would give anything to prove David wrong. He would give anything to get Emma pregnant and have a baby so he can show David just how wrong he is. In fact, as soon as he gets home, he’s going to bang his wife over and over until a baby pops out!

*○*○*○*

“What the hell was that all about?” Regina asks in obvious amusement as she takes a seat next to David. “I’m sensing some trouble in paradise between you and mister drama queen?” she titters.

Charming’s face is buried in his hands as he lets out a sigh and lifts his head, looking over at Regina and seeing the smirk on her face.

“As a matter of fact, there is,” he replies with a snarky expression.

To that, she rests her elbow on the surface of the bar counter and tilts her head, regarding him with an arched brow, her eyes full of intrigue. “Go on, I’m listening.”

David is not sure he wants to divulge the details of the argument with Regina of all people, but he supposes since she seems to be interested, (even if only because she finds what she always refers to as ‘the Captain Charming bromance’ amusing) he may as well. He’s already given the whole diner a show anyway. “Killian thinks that raising children is so easy. I mean, I get that he has a great father/son relationship with Henry and wants to have kids of his own and gain more of that parenting experience, but sometimes I don’t think he realizes that raising kids from birth is a lot of work. But then again, Snow and I do make it look pretty easy,” he boasts with a half-hearted, smug grin.

Regina rolls her eyes. “Maybe so, but I can imagine how frustrating it is to want a baby. I mean, I wasn’t able to bear a child and even though I was technically still the evil queen after I cast the curse, I wanted a child badly. I craved being a mother because my life just felt so incomplete, like there was something missing.”

“Yes, but you had no one back then. Killian has Emma and me and Snow and Henry.” David realizes the brutality of his words when he sees the complacent expression on Regina’s face fade into something more dispirited. David’s features soften and he looks at her, apologetically. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

Regina shakes her head, dismissing his words with a small wave of her hand. “No, it’s okay. You are right; I _didn’t_ have anyone, and the pirate seems to have everything I would’ve killed to have— _li_ _terally_ —but as they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. Watching you and Snow, and seeing how happy you are with your children can’t be all that easy for Hook if he’s longing to have one of his own.

“I can see that, but he should really embrace the time he has before he and Emma start having babies. I hate to say it, but sometimes I wish I could just have a few moments where I didn’t have all of the obligations and responsibilities that come with fatherhood.”

David is pretty sure Regina is taunting him with the grin that curves her lips, as though she’s brewing up something in that once-evil mind of hers. “Be careful what you wish for.” She gets up from her stool, and he can’t help but notice the mischief dancing in her eyes as she leans in whispering into his ear, “you might just get it.” Regina slips her hands into the pockets of her jacket and winks at him before turning around and leaving David with furrowed brows and a confused expression.

He brushes it off and shakes his head, taking another sip of his drink before going home. He’s still frazzled from his argument with Killian, from the things they had said to one another, but he knows tomorrow they’ll make up and tomorrow they’ll be best buddies again.

*○*○*○*

Storybrooke is starting to look like Winter Wonderland, the snowflakes relentlessly falling and covering the ground in more layers of white as Killian reaches his house—the one with the white picket fence—still emotional from the fight, and also maybe a bit buzzed from the alcohol. He sighs, seeing his breath dissipate into the frigid winter air; Killian feels defeated as he stands in front of the home he and Emma had fought so hard to obtain; he wants to fill that home with a bigger family. Of course they have Henry, but he’ll be off to college soon and then it will only be Killian and Emma, and their big house will seem empty. His heart becomes heavy just thinking about it.

Killian walks up the porch steps, hoping the house will soon be filled with sounds of tiny laughter as he holds his little lad or lassie in his arms smiling down at the precious bundle of joy. He would give anything to have children with his wife and show them the love and attention he and Emma had missed out on as kids. He wishes to be the father he never had.

He wishes to be a father like David.

As he unlocks the door and steps inside, little does he know, he had made the wish out loud. And little does he know, Regina was nearby listening with a conspiring grin on her face.

“Then may your wishes be granted, Captain Charming,” she snickers to herself before waving her hand and vanishing into a thick cloud of purple smoke.

*○*○*○*

David wakes up the next morning surrounded by blissful warmth as a lazy smile curves his lips. He has been complaining a lot lately, but he has to admit, waking up next to the love of his life is how it always should be. He loves his family and would not trade them for the world. He feels guilty about the things he’d said to Killian, about saying that sometimes taking care of his babies is too much, but he knows the things he said were out of frustration. He sighs in content feeling his wife stirring beside him as he moves his arm, wrapping it around her waist. His left arm is crushed underneath her and his hand is completely numb, but he finds it difficult to care at the moment.

However, when he pulls her a little closer, something doesn’t feel right. His hand smooths over her clothed hip, and this only makes things worse. Her body feels strange and unfamiliar. Her scent is also different; it actually is familiar, but it’s not his wife’s scent. Something is definitely off.

His brows wrinkle in confusion, and blearily, he opens one eye and looks around, seeing he is not in his own bed, and the room is definitely not his own. The sheets are made of silk, they’re dark blue and the pillow smells like another man. The room is dim and there’s minimal light filtering through the dark curtains, which is odd because he and Mary Margaret always keep the curtains open; they enjoy waking up to the sunlight shining through their window. Not to mention, their curtains are floral, not a solid color. He looks over at the person lying in his arms, and his vision is still blurry, but he can see locks of blonde hair streaming over the pillow. David’s body instantly stiffens and his eyes widen, terror pulsating through him. No no no, this _cannot_ be happening. He _cannot_ be in someone else’s bed next to any woman other than his Snow. He would never in a million years have an affair; this is some sort of mistake. It _has_ to be.

David’s stomach churns, his face is pale and he feels beads of sweat forming at his forehead. He doesn’t even know who this person could be. There’s only one blonde in his life—unless… no it can’t be Katherine; definitely not. Even if she didn’t move far away from Storybrooke a long time ago, the chances of him merely seeing her around town and not remembering are zero considering he didn’t even drink a drop of alcohol last night. He shakes away the thoughts and lifts his head as he pulls his hand away, wiping his eyes. He takes another look at the woman lying beside him, seeing the side of her angelic face as she sleeps.

It’s Emma.

As he realizes the scent of the pillow is from Killian, he’s confused, but also utterly relieved, nevertheless, as he lets out a deep sigh.

_Thank God._

With that little mystery solved, he still has to wonder one thing—how did he end up in his daughter’s and son-in-law’s bed? He coils back, a bit perturbed as he ponders the question.

Carefully wrestling his arm from underneath his daughter, he slowly pulls it away, and when it’s finally free he has to suppress a shriek when he realizes he has no left hand!

What the hell?!!!

His eyes widen and panic ripples through his blood, but then he convinces himself it’s just a dream. He does not have only one hand. He was just holding his babies with two hands only yesterday. He quietly gets out of bed; feeling reassured from knowing this is just a dream.

“Baby, where are you going?” Emma mumbles, her words laced with sleep. David’s eyes widen as he turns to look at her. She doesn’t even know her father was the one in bed with her. How in the hell did this happen? And why can’t he remember how he got here? He recalls getting into a fight with Killian at Granny’s and then coming home and falling asleep in his own bed. It is possible he was sleepwalking (it wouldn’t be the first time), but even if he did, the question still remains—where’s Killian? Then he peers down at his handless arm. Right, it’s only a dream. It’s not real.

It’s a dream he very much wishes to wake up from.

David makes his way to the bathroom, flicking on the light and turning on the faucet as he leans over the sink, gathering lukewarm water in his right hand before splashing his face with it. When he drags the palm of his hand down his face, he notices the sharp hair on his chin, his jaw and around his lips. He hasn’t even realized his stubble has grown in the last couple of days he hasn’t shaved. He normally likes to stay clean-shaven but sometimes he can’t think about taking care of himself when he has three babies, a grown daughter, a son-in-law, a teenage grandson and his wife to tend to. Again, he reminds himself this is only a dream. His eyes are closed when he lifts his hand, grabbing the hand towel next to the sink. After he dries his face, he puts it back on the hook before looking in the mirror…

What he sees shocks him to his core, his eyes widening in horror at the reflection.

_Jet black hair, sea blue eyes. Dark stubble on his chin and cheeks._

Trying not to scream (he’s not sure he could make a sound if he wanted to) he touches his face, smoothing his fingers over his skin to make sure what he is seeing is not real. Sure enough, he can feel the differently shaped jaw, the scar on his cheek and all of the other features David Nolan does not have, but he’s still unable and unwilling to believe he’s seeing things correctly. He’s not able to believe he is seeing Killian in the mirror. He notices the wedding band on his finger, which is not the one Mary Margaret had placed on his finger when they got married, and he moves his right hand in front of his face observing it. This has to be the result of some twisted magic prank or something.

Well, it certainly explains the lack of a left hand.

David looks into the mirror again, this time noticing all of the dark hair on his chest! He peers down at himself, running his hands through it, and he’s definitely not noticing how soft it is under his touch. His gaze wanders down seeing the boxers that are not his own and he decides he needs further evidence that this all is real. He’s not sure this will prove anything, but if he doesn’t have his own life, his looks or his own manhood, then what else is there? Using his hand, he pulls back the elastic waistband and his eyes blow wide as he releases the fabric and quickly glances up the mirror again.

Yep, definitely _not_ his.

“How in the hell did this happen?!” he utters out once he finds the words in his throat. He clasps on to his neck in shock. Or should he say ‘ _how in the bloody hell?’_ because his voice is also not his own; it’s certainly Killian’s rough, lower-pitched voice, although it sounds strange without his British accent.

“Killian? You alright? I heard you shouting.”

David jumps when he hears Emma’s voice outside the bathroom door; he looks at the doorknob and hurries over to lock it before she can enter. “I’m fine. Just about to take a shower.”

The doorknob wriggles fruitlessly, and she’s unable to open it. “Killian, why is the door locked? Come on, let me take a shower with you. I have to get to the station.”

_Shit._

David starts looking around, plotting an escape as he sees the window next to the shower. “Sorry…” he clears his throat, attempting to add the lilt of Killian’s accent to his words. “Sorry, Swe— _love_ … actually, I’m not feeling very well.”

The sound of Emma’s laughter is heard through the door. “What’s wrong, are you too sore for a quicky? I can imagine you are after all the sex we had last night. Trying to have a baby is really _hard_ work.”

David wishes his ears would fall off. He can’t listen to any more of this. He’s still completely dumbfounded by the fact he’s in Killian’s body, and to make matters worse, he has to hear about his daughter’s sex life. David tries to calm, his hands bracing against the counter so tightly, his knuckles are turning white. He takes a deep breath, trying to think of what he can do to salvage the situation. He doesn’t want to escape through the bathroom window, because then Emma will know something is off. Or she will think Killian is trying to avoid her or abandon her and he does not have it in his heart to make his daughter suffer like that. He catches one last glimpse of the mirror, drawing in another breath before letting go of the counter and rushing over to the bathroom door, unlocking it.

Quickly opening the door, he is bombarded by his daughter, who has an impish smirk on her face, her eyes lighting up with lust and (romantic) love and all of the things she should not be looking at her father with. But he can’t blame her for that, because she doesn’t know he is not Killian.

“It’s about time, babe,” she murmurs in a seductive voice, and he does his best to stay calm and collected. He doesn’t want to act too hasty. “I really need a shower, I feel so dirty,” she quips, winking at him.

Okay,  _now_ is the time to _really_ panic. Emma is standing in his way as she grabs the bottom hem of her tank top, pulling it up, but David deflects her attempts by gently putting his hand on her arm, causing her to pause as he musters a weak smile. “Love, we really shouldn’t. I believe I’m coming down with a cold and I do not wish to give it to you.”

Her cheeky grin only widens as she walks towards him, forcing him back into the bathroom. “Oh I think you do.”

David winces and swallows thickly, trying to think his way out of this predicament. He needs to get to Killian so they can figure out what the hell is going on. Emma tries to pull up her shirt again, so he quickly stops her before she does. “Sorry, love, but I can’t let you get sick.” Her face contorts, her eyes flashing with disappointment and confusion. He doesn’t give her a chance to reply as he shuffles from her embrace and out of the bathroom. “And I have to get to the station.” David quickly goes to the closet to find something to wear, seeing his options; Goddam leather and silk shirts and vests.

Emma crosses her arms as she emerges into the bedroom, eyeing him in curiosity. “But I thought you weren’t feeling well?”

“I’m not, but I’ll get over it. There’s an emergency and Ki— _David_ needs my help.” He sighs as he grabs a pair of leather pants, black shirt and one of Killian’s red vests before realizing his mistake.

Emma furrows her brows in confusion. “You’re wearing your pirate garb? Not that I’m complaining, but… I thought you were trying to be more modern. And since when do you go without your guyliner?”

God, he is an idiot. His first impulse was to grab the leather pants, forgetting that Killian hasn’t actually worn them in a very long time. It’s not like David notices what kind of pants Killian is wearing these days. As far as the guyliner goes, he’d have never thought to put that on. “You’re right, love, I just felt like changing it up today; go rogue, as they say. And I’ve missed the leather pants.”

To his dismay, Emma smirks, looking him up and down as though picturing him in said leather pants. “Me too.” He feels uncomfortable and disturbed under her scrutinizing eyes as she stalks over to him, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck. David’s instincts are to hug her and hold her in his arms as well—this is his daughter after all—but he certainly doesn’t want to give her the wrong impression. He knows he has to run, but again, he has to turn her down with tact.

Emma leans in and tries to kiss his lips, but he dodges her attempts. “I don’t want to give you my cold, love.”

“I wouldn’t mind. And if it gets me pregnant, it will totally be worth it,” Emma says with a giggle, trying to kiss him again, but David pulls away, offering a small, nervous laugh.

“I wish we could, but I really have to get going,” he tells her and places a chaste kiss to her currently wrinkled forehead before disentangling himself from her arms. He grabs a pair of boxers from Killian’s dresser, trying to avoid her gaze, but he can feel her eyes burning into him as he rushes into the bathroom to change, closing the door behind him.

“What is the emergency?” Emma asks through the door, and he can hear the confusion and disappointment in her voice. “I can join you.”

“Why don’t you take the day off, love? Your father and I can handle it.” David offers, changing into Killian’s clothes as quickly as he can, but it isn’t easy with one hand.

“Since when are you shy about dressing in front of me? You certainly weren’t shy last night. After all the positions we’ve pulled off, we’ve seen every side imaginable of each other.”

 _Oh God. What did he do to deserve this?_ David’s stomach plummets. He really needs to leave before he has to hear any more. No father wants to hear about his daughter getting it on with his son-in-law—his _friend_ , nevertheless—or any guy for that matter. Even if she is an adult, he stills thinks of her as a sweet innocent princess; at least he did before today.

“I am not shy, you’re just a bloody distraction,” he replies, hoping she’ll accept that.

“Well, normally you like being distracted,” she replies in a sassy tone.

Once he manages to fasten the zillion buttons on his ridiculous outfit, David scurries out of the bathroom flashing a smile. “You’re right; normally I do.”

Emma rolls her eyes. “I know, you have to go. But I want to hear about what pulled you away from me later, okay?”

David is relieved she is letting him go. “You’ve got a deal, love.”

“And tonight you’re making it up to me by trying to make a baby with me, you know that right? Tomorrow is when I ovulate, so now is the best time to get pregnant.”

Dammit.

David manages a small smile and a lift of his brow, trying to forget any images she has implanted in his mind, although he is excited about the possibility of having another grandchild. “Of course.” He only hopes whatever spell that was cast on him is gone by tonight. He turns around, but before he can leave the bedroom, Emma’s voice stops him.

“Ummm, aren’t you forgetting something?” He turns around confused, unsure about what she’s referring to.

“What’s that love?”

Emma looks down at his left hand, and he still has no clue what she is talking about until his eyes follow her gaze, and it dawns on him he doesn’t have a left hand.

“Oh right, my hook,” he says with a small, awkward laugh and looks around the room, spotting it on the nightstand on Killian’s side of the bed.

Emma furrows her brows. “You must not be feeling well; you never forget your hook.” She walks over to grab it and brings it over to him, pulling up his sleeve before securing the brace on his arm. “Are you sure you’re feeling up to working today?” she asks in concern, placing the back of her hand on his forehead.

“Aye, I’ll be fine,” he assures with a nod. “Just a scratchy throat.”

“Well, you’re not burning up, so I’ll take your word for it.”

“Alright, I’ll call you later. I love you, sweetheart,” he tells her, and of course he means it in a platonic, father-to-daughter sort of way, but she doesn’t have to know that. He leans in to give her a kiss on the cheek, but to his surprise, Emma grabs his face with both of her hands and pulls him to her, kissing him directly on the lips. David immediately stiffens and tries to pull away, but luckily it’s over before he can blink.

Emma licks her lips, her features soft and warm. “I love you too.”

He turns to leave again, but before he does, she gives him a firm swat on the ass along with a “Goodbye, Captain,” and he flinches, but continues out the door cursing under his breath.

He’s officially scarred for life.

*○*○*○*

Killian dreams of crying babies and of having two hands. The tiny, high-pitched wails sound so far away, and yet make his ears perk up. Killian groans into the pillow when the cries become closer and more jarring. He wonders if Emma has changed the ringtone of her phone because as he slowly awakens from a restful sleep, he realizes the sounds are _not_ from a dream. He flips around until he’s laying on his back and rubs the sleep from his eyes, noticing that the piercing noise never ceases and is in fact very _real._

There are also a few other things he notices. For one, the feeling in his left hand is also _real._ Killian freezes, opening his eyes and drawing the hand in front of his face, observing the limb he hasn’t had in centuries. The thumb and four fingers he can move and flex before his eyes, and they look and feel so lifelike.

Bloody hell.

Utterly confused, he sees the strange wedding band there. It’s different than his own, and it’s on the wrong hand. These hands are clearly not his own. Killian lifts his eyes and looks over at the nightstand where he’d left his hook the night before, and not only is it gone, but the nightstand is replaced by a different one altogether, and there’s a portable mirror where his hook normally is. His eyes frantically circle around the room, trying to comprehend why he has two hands and why he’s hearing crying babies, when he realizes he is not in his own bedroom. It’s too bright, the walls are blue and the comforter and curtains have yellow and pink flowers on them. Not to mention, the pillow smells like David.

When he pulls the covers off of himself and sits up, swinging his legs over the edge and planting his feet on the hardwood floor as opposed to the carpeted bedroom floor he’s accustomed to, he feels cold and naked. And it’s not because he isn’t wearing any clothes. In fact, he’s wearing far too many—a white t-shirt and pajama pants as opposed to his boxers or better yet, his birthday suit. Killian lifts a brow as he pulls the shirt away from his skin and peers underneath it, seeing that he has no chest hair!

Flooded with panic, his hands hastily feel around and explore the entire expanse of his chest, but there is definitely no fluff or softness to it. It’s just solid, hairless, clothed chest.

Something is definitely off.

He grabs the mirror from the nightstand and looks into it. Sure enough, he sees David in the reflection instead of himself.

“Bloody hell,” he groans under his breath. It’s not as though he hates the image in the mirror—Charming is quite the fetching fella—but Killian’s _devilishly handsome_ looks are gone, and he is less than enthusiastic about that.

His mind is still spinning with a million questions because why the devil does he look like David and how did he end up in the prince’s bed? (Although he can’t help but chuckle, because it’s now a known fact that the prince keeps a mirror on his nightstand.)

The last thing Killian remembers before falling asleep in his own bed was feeling all floaty and boneless from the several rounds of passionate love-making he’d engaged in with his beautiful wife. Those sensations are gone now, being that he is someone else; however, the memories are very much fresh in his mind. And even though he is unable to instantly make the smile from his lips disappear as he thinks about it, he is not oblivious to the realization that yet another godforsaken curse has literally ripped him from his true love’s arms. He can’t be all that surprised though; it is not the first time, after all, and it certainly won’t be the last.

“Oh good, you’re awake.”

Killian’s body stiffens when he hears the bright chirp of a very familiar voice—his mother-in-law’s.

He sets down the mirror and turns his head, seeing Snow carry little Riley in her arms as she gets into bed and sits with her back against the headboard. “David, could you get Ruthanne and bring her in here?”

Killian nods, gathering his lips into a smile. “‘Course, lo—” he clears his throat, remembering he sounds like David, and attempts again without his accent, “of course, _dear_ ,” he replies just as she begins to unfasten the bottons of her nightgown, and he realizes she’s about to breastfeed. He quickly snaps his head around before he can see anything and starts searching around the room for clothes. He sees the folded up blue jeans and red flannel shirt on the chair across the room and gets up, throwing them on.

Once Killian is dressed, he makes a dash for the bedroom door, trying to avoid looking at his mother-in-law who currently has her breasts out, feeding her six-month old son. Still trying to process everything, Killian goes into the nursery  where Ruthanne is softly crying in her crib. He’s not sure whether he should be relieved he’s in David’s body and did not actually have an affair with Mary Margaret (he fears what would’ve happened to him if that were the case), or if he should feel disturbed about why he is in David’s body and how this even happened in the first place.

Killian looks down at Ruthanne as she squirms on the sheet, lifting her tiny arms up in the air, her face scrunched up and red. His heart swells as he carefully gathers his wee sister-in-law into his arms, supporting her little body as he gently carries her out of the crib.

“Shh Shhh, sweet love,” he coos, softly bouncing her and holding her close to his chest. She relaxes against him, feeling safe and secure in the arms of who she sees as her father. Her cries start to abate, and she gurgles and smiles up at Killian, wrapping her baby-sized hand around his finger. Instantly, he feels a hundred times calmer. This he can certainly handle; he’s babysat Neal and the twins several times before and very much enjoys it.

Killian grins down at Ruthanne as he leaves the nursery, carrying her down the hall to the master bedroom where Snow is waiting for the two of them. He veers his eyes away from her as he makes his way around the bed to set Ruthanne next to her mother.

“Thank you. Sweetheart,” she says sweetly, her eyes focused on her hungry baby before glancing up at him. Killian scratches behind his ear, awkwardly looking around the room. his cheeks flushed with red. “What’s wrong? You act like you’ve never seen mine breasts before,” she says with a laugh. “Normally you can’t stop staring at them.”

Killian manages a nervous laugh and meets her gaze as he grabs David’s phone from the nightstand and makes his way to the door. “Sorry, dear, my mind’s just been preoccupied, and there are some things I have to take care of at the station.”

“You’re leaving already?” she asks, her brows wrinkled in confusion.

He turns around, keeping his eyes on her face. It’s not as though he’s never seen a woman breastfeed in his three hundred years of existence, but this is his best friend’s wife—Emma’s mother—and he feels it’s indecent to gawk at her during the process, as natural as breastfeeding may be. “Afraid so.”

His mother-in-law’s face falls in disappointment. “But wait, I don’t even get a kiss?”

That’s when Killian bolts out of the bedroom as though his shoes are on fire. Even if he doesn’t feel comfortable kissing another woman or Emma’s mother with her breasts exposed, nonetheless, he really doesn’t want to receive the wrath he knows he will get _if_ and _when_ David were to find out. Killian knows his father-in-law won’t take into consideration the fact that he is cursed. Take Whale for example—he got punched in the nose for sleeping with Mary Margaret while they were trapped in their cursed personas. Even though David has clearly stated that Killian has grown on him and even though they’re now close friends as well as father and son-in-law, he doubts David will cut him any slack when it comes to Snow.

Before Killian leaves the house, he grabs David’s jacket from the closet and looks at the phone in his hand. His thumb is swiping the screen to unlock it as he marvels at the fact he can hold something in each hand.

Just when he realizes he doesn’t even know how to contact Charming, he sees the screen light up with a message from his own phone, letting him know it’s from David, and informing him to meet up at the station.


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the other half of the CS Secret Santa gift for the lovely @imhookedonaswan. Thank you so much for your patience. I hope you are having a great year so far!
> 
> To eliminate confusion, when I mention Killian or David, I’m referring to the person inside the body, not the body itself unless I mention otherwise (as odd as that sounds)

David can’t believe his eyes. Blinking a few times, he’s still under the impression he’s seeing things, but with the man who looks like him,  _David Nolan_ , wearing the same baffled expression on his face, he has a feeling he knows exactly what’s going on. He just doesn’t know why.

 

“What the bloody hell? You stole my devilishly handsome looks,” Killian accuses as he steps closer, studying David uncomfortably. He lifts a finger, trying to poke David’s cheek, but he brushes it away, scolding him. The pirate peers down scanning him from head to toe in disbelief. “And you’re wearing my leather pants?!”

 

“Yeah, so? You stole my charming looks!” David points out and starts circling himself, studying the person who appears to be Prince Charming as though he were going to find something different or strange about him. But no, it was  _his_  body; everything was still intact.

 

“Yeah, and I would gladly give them back,  _mate,”_ Killian snaps as he begins doing the same, taking in the situation by observing his own body.

 

David frowns. “Hey, you should be lucky to look like me.”

 

The pirate rolls his eyes. “Aye, I’m absolutely thrilled if you couldn’t tell,” he mutters sardonically.

 

“How did this happen?”

 

“Your guess is as good as mine. I woke up in your bed like this.”

 

David lashes out, wrapping his hand around Killian’s neck and pushing him towards the door, rage glowing in his eyes.

 

Killian groans, pushing him off. “What the bloody hell was that for?”

 

“You woke up in bed with my wife!” David shouts, grabbing the lapels of his own jacket.

 

Killian shoots him a bewildered look and shoves him away. “You woke up in bed next to  _my_  wife!”

 

Seriously? Did he really just say that? “She’s my daughter!”

 

Killian shrugs him off, brushing his hands over the jacket to smooth it out, his voice calmer as he speaks, “Well still… I know how Emma gets; she can be a bloody siren at times.” Killian’s lips widen into a smirk. “In fact there are some mornings when I wake up and she’s—“

 

“Okay, that’s enough!” David interrupts quickly. “I don’t wish to hear about your adventures with my daughter in bed. I’ve already heard enough as it is!”

 

Killian arches a brow in curiosity. “Really? What did she say?”

 

David shakes his head, holding up his hands in surrender. “Oh no, I’m not repeating them. Let’s just say, I know far too much about yours and Emma's sex life than I ever cared to know about, and I left the bedroom feeling molested by my own daughter.”

 

Killian grins, appearing to be amused by his distress. “She swatted your— _my_  bottom, didn’t she?”

 

David sighs, exasperated. “Yes, okay. She also kissed me on the lips, so can we just drop it?”

 

Killian frowns. “She kissed you? When Snow tried to kiss  _me_ , I ran away.”

 

“She’s my daughter!” David repeated, annoyed. “I couldn’t just run away from my daughter, especially after everything she’s been through,” he explained, and at the same time, Killian’s words finally sank in. “Wait, Snow tried to kiss you?!” he asks accusingly.

 

“No, David, she wanted a kiss from  _you_ , not me. She was breastfeeding the twins, but I did not look. I was an absolute gentleman, and when she wanted a kiss, I ran like the wind.”

 

David eyes him in shock. “You did?”

 

“Aye. What kind of man do you take me for? I’m not about to encroach in on another man’s life, even if I do look like you,” he stated begrudgingly. “You should know by now—your daughter is the only woman for me in this realm, and every other one. If that ever changes, you have my permission to shove a bloody cutlass through my heart, because I’d have to be a man possessed to want anyone other than Emma.”

 

David sighs in relief, comforted and calmed by his words. “You know I’d be happy to,” he jokes with a smirk. “I’m sorry, I should’ve had more faith in you.”

 

“It’s okay, mate,” Killian assures with a smile, and David catches him off guard by pulling him into a hug. Killian emits a soft chuckle and pats him on the back. “No harm done.”

 

Things may be less tense between them, but David feels guilty about doubting his son-in-law; the situation they’re in is a bit stressful to say the least. They still have no clue how they got this way.

 

“Ahem,” the clearing of throats pulls David and Killian apart and they look towards the door, seeing two very unhappy women with wrinkled brows—one crossing her arms and one with her hands on her hips; both of them were pissed.

 

“So, this is the emergency you had to leave so quickly for?” Emma asks, glaring at the man who appears to be her husband, sending a shiver down David's spine.

 

“And this is why you couldn’t even give me a kiss goodbye?” Snow adds with the same shrill tone.

 

_Well, shit._

 

“Daddy!” Neal runs over to Killian, smashing into him and wrapping his arms around his legs.

 

“Heeey… kiddo,” Killian says, kneeling down and returning the hug as he flashes David an apologetic smile.

 

“You two have a lot of explaining to do,” Mary Margaret says, gaining their attention again as she picks up a crying Ruthanne from her stroller. Killian picks up Neal, making it believable that he’s actually Charming.

 

David looks between his wife and children, and wants to go over and kiss her and hold them,  _all four of them_ , but alas he can’t, seeing as he looks like Killian; that would be weird. Just as weird as if Killian (in David’s body) went up to Emma and started making out with her. Okay, that might be a bit weirder— _A LOT weirder_ —but as David glances at Killian, it looks as though he wants to do just that, and David nudges him in the side to rid all impure thoughts from the pirate’s mind.

 

“Oomph,” Killian groans, scolding David. “What was that for?”

 

“Quit looking at my daughter like that,” he whispers so the ladies can’t hear. “It’s creepy.”

 

Killian shrugs, an impish smirk curving his lips. “I can’t help it. You’re daughter’s extremely irresistible when she’s pissed.”

 

“Well  _resist,_ ” David snarls through gritted teeth.

 

Killian sighs and sets Neal down, taking his hand as he walks over to Snow. “Of course, sweetheart, we’ll explain everything tonight. Right now’s not the best time,” Killian says to soothe his mother-in-law as he lays a gentle hand on her arm.

 

Again, David’s heart clenches, watching another man comfort his family. Emma gazes at him expectantly, her arms still crossed, and she looks unhappy, so he goes over to her and puts his arm around her shoulder, kissing her temple, but Emma’s not very receiving at the moment and she doesn’t mold into his embrace. David exchanges glances with Killian and both of them are wearing guilty expressions.

 

“Why tonight? Why can’t you tell us what’s going on _right now_?” Snow demands, scowling at Killian.

 

“Uh…” Killian stutters, scratching behind his ear.

 

Mary Margaret narrows her eyes at him. “What’s wrong with your ear, David?”

 

“It’s a surprise,” Charming chips in. “We’re planning a surprise for our lovely wives, and we don’t want to ruin it.”

 

Snow’s eyes widen in curiosity. “A surprise?”

 

“I’m not buying it,” Emma states firmly. “Did you forget that I can tell when people are lying?” she asks David.

 

“It’s true. We had to meet here so as not to draw any attention.” David curses himself as he speaks. He and Killian not only have to figure out why they’ve been cursed and how to reverse it, but now they have to think of a special surprise for their wives, and they have to think of something quickly.

 

“Well here,” Margaret says handing Ruthanne over to Killian, placing her securely in his arms. “If you want to do something special for us, then you can watch our children and you and Killian can stay here at the station so Emma and I and can have a mother-daughter day.”

 

Killian and David look at their wives in confusion. “Where will you be going?” Charming asks.

 

“We’re not telling.” Snow replies smugly, exchanging an unfathomable glance with her daughter. “It’s between us ladies. Is that okay with you, Emma?”

 

Emma nods. “Sounds good to me.”

 

Mary Margaret kisses her children goodbye and puts her arm around Emma’s shoulder as they turn around and start walking away, not even kissing their husbands goodbye, which is for the best. As satisfying as it would be, David really doesn’t want to sock his son-in-law in the nose.

 

“As soon as you two can figure out why you felt it was necessary to up and ditch your wives then we’re just a phone call away,” Emma calls out as they continue to the door.

 

The boys are left dumbfounded; neither of them was expecting that. Killian peers down at the baby in his arms before glancing up at David. “So, what now?”

 

Charming mocks him with a chuckle. “Now, it looks like you got exactly what you wanted.”

 

Killian furrows his brows. “What do you mean?”

 

David shrugs. “Well, you said you wanted children of your own. Now you have them.”

 

“Yeah, and you said you wished you could have time to sit around at Granny’s sulking and feeling sorry for yourself,” his son-in-law shoots back sarcastically.

 

Their eyes snap up, staring at each other as realization crashes over them at the same time.

 

“You wished this!” they both shout, pointing at each other accusingly. “This is all your fault!”

 

David thinks about their argument yesterday and recalls talking to Regina, and also the comment she’d made… “Hold on a bloody second,” he exclaims and smirks a bit from the small accomplishment of sounding exactly like Killian, accent and all. “I know exactly who did this.” Thinking about her words, he knows this was entirely her doing.

 

Killian’s features wrinkle in puzzlement. “Who?”

 

“Regina. She joined me at the bar counter after you left and asked me what happened. I may have given her some details and she said something I just shrugged off at the time.”

 

“What did she say?”

 

“She said, ‘Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it’.”

 

“Oh bloody hell. Why did you have to go and talk to Regina?” Killian asks, irritation laced in his words.

 

“I don’t know. I didn't know she was actually going to grant my stupid wish; it was something I said out of anger and frustration,” he grumbles with a sigh. “But I’ll make her reverse it. Are you okay watching Neal and the twins while I’m gone?” David asks, looking between his son-in-law and children.

 

Killian emits an audible breath, but nods his head. “Of course, but you better fix this— _quickly_.”

 

“Don’t worry, I’m just as in a hurry as you are. If we don’t fix this by tonight, your wife will probably never speak to you again.”

 

Killian frowns as he stares cluelessly at David. “What do you mean? Why wouldn't my wife want to talk to me?”

 

David shakes his head; he shouldn't have said anything.

 

“Tell me,” Killian demands.

 

Expelling a heavy puff of air, David rests his hands on his hips as he reluctantly answers. “Emma's expecting…” his voice trails off and he clears his throat. Could this day get any more uncomfortable?

 

David realizes the mistake of his hesitation when Killian’s eyes light up and his mouth falls agape. “Emma's expecting?”

 

_Shit._

 

“No, Killian…. that's not what I meant.”

 

“So, Emma's not pregnant?”

 

“No—” David stumbles when he watches Killian’s features fall in disappointment. “I mean—I don't know if she is or not; all I know is she's hoping to get pregnant soon, and she's hoping to give it another go tonight. I already had to reject her this morning; why do you think she was so pissed?”

 

Killian nods in understanding, a small smile curving his lips. Finally they’re on the same page. “Told you she was a bloody siren.”

 

David groans in disapproval. “Okay, I'm leaving so we can reverse this curse and prevent our wives from divorcing the two of us.”

 

“You know, David, we could just tell them the truth,” Killian suggests, as though it were that simple.

 

“Yeah, and tell Emma she tried to seduce her father?” David shakes his head. “I don't think so.”

 

*○*○*○*

 

Killian’s hands are full, juggling Ruthanne in one hand, trying to burp her while feeding Riley his bottle of formula in the other hand, and he’s chasing after Neal from time to time, as the lad seems to be set out to destroy the Charmings’ house. Killian should be grateful he has two hands for the time being, but at the same time he’s exhausted. And it's only been two hours. David had went to Regina, trying to get her to lift the spell, but she only laughed out of amusement and said they had to figure out how to break it themselves. Which was fine. Really. Killian is fine with babysitting the little Charming monsters, he really is. 

 

He has to admit, the kids are adorable. He definitely sees the resemblance between Ruthanne and Riley. The babies are twins, but act completely different from each other. The little lad is timid and shy, and turns his head away when he's around strangers, but it only adds to the cuteness of his blonde curls, big blue eyes, and his squishy, peach colored cheeks. The other twin however, is the opposite. She seems precious and innocent, always wearing little pink bows and barrettes in her chestnut curls, but he sees mischief and trouble behind the brightness in her cat-like green eyes and little smirk.

 

With heart eyes, he shamelessly swoons over their cuteness, bouncing the babies around, but Riley is less than pleased after the bottle is empty and Killian removes it from his mouth. The lad’s cheeks redden and puff up as tears start to well up in his eyes, while the lassie spits up milk all down his shirt, despite the burp rag draped over his shoulder.

 

When Killian gives them their stuffed teddy bears and gets them to stop crying, he lays them in their cribs for a nap. He even gets Neal to lay down after the boy had tuckered himself out and begged Killian to tell him a story. He happily agreed and read him a fairy-tale book until Neal fell asleep.

 

Killian expels a heavy sigh and plops down on the couch, rubbing the temples of his forehead. He doesn't understand it—the Charming kids are always angels when he babysits them, but then he again he always takes them places and it’s only for a small amount of time. But right now, he and Charming thought it'd be best for him to lay low for a while as David brings some books to the station and does some research on how to break a body-swapping curse.

 

He takes the opportunity to look at his phone, or rather, David's. They decided to keep the other’s phone just in case someone tried calling them, expecting the owner of the phone to answer.

 

It's almost eight o’clock when the ladies come through the door, bearing shopping bags and hot drinks. Killian stands up, meeting them at the door to greet them and help them with their bags, but he doesn’t really know what to say.

 

“You're awfully quiet,” Snow notes with a smile as she sets down her drink and curls her hands around the back of his neck. Killian stiffens and needs to run away, but he knows that will make things worse between David and Snow, and he doesn't wish to do that.

 

Instead, he graces her with a weary smile. “Just tired is all.”

 

“I know,” Mary Margaret murmurs, her eyes flashing with guilt. “Look, David, Emma and I've been thinking... and we may have been a little hard on the two of you this morning.”

 

Killian arches a brow in shock. “You were?”

 

“Yes, we both put you and Killian under a lot of stress—with Emma trying to get pregnant and you having to take care of the babies alone while I’m at work—we figured you were both just trying to take a break and have a little father and son-in-law time together.”

 

“That's uh—that's exactly right, lo— _dear_.” Of course, that's a brilliant explanation; why didn't he and David think of that?

 

Mary Margaret smiles up at him before placing a kiss to his cheek. He peers over her shoulder, gazing at Emma, and she appears to be… jealous? He's not really sure, but she looks sad, and his heart sinks watching her.

 

However, when David comes through the door, her face lights up with a smile and she immediately grabs him, trying to kiss him, but thankfully he pulls away.

 

“I believe you made a promise this morning,” Emma says to the man who appears to be her husband. “It's time to go home and make good on that promise,” she says with a seductive smirk as she flutters her lashes. David turns his head, looking at Killian with pleading eyes, silently begging for help, but Killian only watches, stifling a laugh. It's actually quite entertaining watching as David tries to fend off his daughter.

 

“Love, I'm still not feeling well.” He's able to break away from her embrace, but now Emma's literally chasing him around the room, trying to grab and kiss him. Snow and Killian watch, thoroughly entertained.

 

Emma tackles Killian’s body, sending them both to the couch and lands on him with a thud. She smothers his face with kisses as David tries to turn his head to avoid her before she starts bursting into laughter. Snow also begins giggling, and Killian and David exchange confused glances as Emma sits up from the couch, helping David up.

 

“What's so funny?” he asks, breathless and bewildered, but Emma can't stop cackling.

 

“I'm sorry,” she chokes out when the laughter finally dies in her throat. “I just can't believe Regina did this to you guys.”

 

“Wait, you know?” David squeaks in astonishment.

 

Emma nods, her face red from laughing. “We ran into Regina at Granny’s and she told us.”

 

Killian and David sigh in relief.

 

“So, you thought it would be funny to mess with your father?” David asks, unamused.

 

“Sorry, Dad,” she apologizes with a small smile. “Just be thankful it wasn't Mom chasing Killian around.”

 

David frowns at the thought. “Believe me, I am.”

 

“But seriously, I am sorry about this morning. I had no idea until a few hours ago.” Emma’s embarrassment starts to shine through and her cheeks are stained with red. She's so beautiful; Killian wants to hold her in his arms and comfort and kiss her, but he’s still in David's body and he knows she's still off limits. Besides, if he's going to be affectionate with her, he certainly doesn't want that as long as he’s in David's body. The thought makes his stomach churn.

 

“Did she tell you how to break this bloody spell?” David inquires in Killian's accented voice.

 

“Nope, you're on your own with that one,” Emma replies. “She said it was up to the two of you to figure out how.”

 

“Just great,” Killian mutters with a sigh.

 

Emma glances at him before standing from the couch and going over to him, softly touching his cheek. Taking her delicate hand in his own, he closes his eyes, relishing her touch.

 

“So, what now?” David asks in agitation.

 

“Well, for now, I'm going to get some rest before the twins wake up,” Snow says. “Thanks for watching them, Killian.”

 

“Not a problem, love.”

 

“Okay, sooo... who's going home with who?” Emma asks skittishly.

 

“Well, I for one would like to go to our own house and sleep in our own bed,” Killian replies.

 

Emma arches a brow. “I'm not sure if sleeping in the same bed is a good idea. It might be weird since you look like my father,” she points out. Like Killian needs to be reminded he's stuck in the prince’s body.

 

“I agree with Emma. As much as I hate the idea, Killian, I think you and I should sleep on the couch in the other’s home, to avoid any temptation, especially since I don't want to give my kids the wrong idea when it looks like their brother-in-law is sleeping in the same bed as their mother.”

 

The other three nod in agreement and they end the night as planned as David goes home with Emma and he stays with Snow. Killian knows Emma’s disappointed, considering they missed out on an opportunity to make a baby, but perhaps the night before was enough. Perhaps, after this is all fixed, Emma will be announcing her pregnancy; but of course, he hopes it doesn't take that long to mend this situation.

 

His hopes are slowly dwindling, though, when it's two days later and they haven't managed to find the answers in any books. He has an idea that this is all part of Regina’s twisted plan, because how could there not be anything about body switching in the world of magic? It's highly unlikely.

 

By day four, he is frustrated beyond repair. The situation is overall uncomfortable and awkward. He has to wash his father-in-law’s body everyday while David washes Killian’s, which is beyond weird to say the least. Killian misses his body. He's not a vain person but he’s a man of habit. His mornings pre-body swap typically involved pleasant morning sex with his love, trimming his stubble, lathering his chest hair while showering and applying his eyeliner. And now none of those things he gets the luxury of engaging in. Then again, maybe a couple of them he can do.

 

*○*○*○*

 

David is missing his family like crazy. Of course he gets to see them everyday and he gets to spend more time with his daughter, but things aren't the same when he doesnt get to wake up next to his wife in the morning or help her get the babies fed and changed, and give them hugs and kisses. He’s cursed himself every morning since he's woken up in Killian's body. Why did he have to say those stupid things the other night? He loves being a father, he loves holding his children in his arms and tucking them into bed. These  _were_  and  _still_   _are_  his life goals. Now he's reduced to waking up in the morning on his daughter’s couch to a room full of silence instead of the sound of his crying babies. The first couple of days in Killian's body, he walked to the station, receiving odd looks because he wasn’t wearing any eyeliner, so he had to have his daughter put it on him because he didn't know how. And not only that, he has to show a ridiculous amount of chest hair to not raise any suspicion. Oh, how he misses his life as David Nolan.

 

His thoughts are abruptly interrupted when the front door flings open and Killian emerges, shutting it behind him. David sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

 

“Killian, I know it's your house, but since you're not staying here at the moment, maybe you could knock?” he grumbles, his voice edged with sleep.

 

Killian scoffs. “Like you and Snow are always so considerate about knocking,” he remarks sarcastically.

 

David's eyebrows furrow as he frowns at his son-in-law. It's far too early to argue with him. “When have we not knocked?”

 

Killian rolls his eyes. “Oh I can think of a few instances where either you or Snow bursted through the door with some sort of town crisis and interrupted a few quiet moments between Emma and I,” Killian points out with a sneer as the corner of his mouth curls up into a smirk. “Although I wouldn't say they were all that quiet. Your daughter can be quite vocal—”

 

“Alright, that's enough,” David groans, putting up his hands to stop Killian from continuing. It's far too early for this. “Now, unless you found a way to break this god-awful spell then I don't care to hear another word from you,” he says bitterly.

 

“Apologies, David,” Killian mumbles, guilt flashing in his eyes. “I assure you, I wish to lift this spell just as much as you do. But since we’re stuck like this, I figured we may as well make the most of it.”

 

David raises a suspicious brow. “And how do you suppose we do that?”

 

Charming is sorry he even asked the question when Killian goes into the bathroom and comes back with black eyeliner.

 

“Just hold still. I'm not finished yet.”

 

David sighs, exasperated. “Is this really necessary? I have Emma to do this for me.”

 

“Aye, but to keep me sane, I need this,” Killian replies, continuing to apply the black kohl around his eyes. “I need to do something of my normal routine; don't you feel the same about the activities you're accustomed to partaking in everyday?”

 

David thinks about that for a second and he has to admit that, yes, he knows exactly what Killian means. “Yeah, I miss hearing the twins in the mornings and I miss having Neal jump on my stomach waking me up and I miss falling asleep next to my wife and awaking in our bedroom next to each other,” he professes with a nostalgic smile.

 

“Ah, see. Well maybe we can make one of those things happen.” Killian pulls a device out of his jacket and presses play.

 

David chuckles, hearing the twins’ prerecorded cries. “Thanks,” he says taking it. “But hopefully I won't have to use it for much longer.”

 

When Killian finishes, he holds up a small mirror for David to look through. “There. Much better.”

 

“If you say so,” David says with a chortle.

 

Killian hands him the eyeliner, and Charming eyes him in confusion. “Here, it's my turn. You should learn how to put in on anyway. We don't know how long we’re going to be stuck like this.”

 

David shakes his head. “I am not putting eyeliner on myself.”

 

Killian frowns, his lips forming into a pout. C’mon Dave, do a son-in-law a favor. I miss wearing it.”

 

David exhales a heavy sigh and takes the liner stick. “Fine. But if I poke my eye out, I'm blaming you.” He lifts his hook, pressing it under Killian’s chin to keep him still, slowly and carefully inching the end of the eyeliner to the frame of his left eye. As he applies the kohl, he can't help but think how ridiculous this is, but the looks and laughs they receive from their wives is well worth the effort.

 

*○*○*○*

 

It's day five when Killian and David are sitting in the Charming living room on the couch with the children. Killian is holding Ruthanne in his arms while Riley is snuggled up against David's chest and Neal is passed out on the end of the sofa.

 

Their wives are at work, so they both decided to double team the kids today, and finally got the three of them calm at the same time, which is a rare occurrence.

 

David turns off the television, turning his head to look at Killian. He smiles, seeing the spark in his son-in-law’s eyes as he peers down at his baby sister-in-law. David has to admit, the sight is something to appreciate, and not only because he’s seeing himself instead of Killian. “You know, Killian… I have to admit I was wrong about what I said before.”

 

Killian looks up at him, his brows creased in confusion. “Wrong about what?”

 

David emits a long sigh. He's not sure if he should admit this because Killian might let it go his head, but he figures he does owe him an apology. “About you not being ready to become a father.”

 

Killian’s eyes widen in shock.

 

“You've really done a great job with Neal and the twins, and I… I'm really sorry about what I said before. I honestly think you'd be a great dad,” he admits earnestly.

 

His son-in-law swallows thickly as he stares at David in bewilderment. “And I'm sorry for the things I said, Dave. I'm sorry for saying it was easy to raise children, because it's really not…” A smile curves Killian’s lips as he glances at Ruthanne again. “But it certainly is rewarding.”

 

“So, helping with the children hasn't deterred you from wanting babies of your own?” Charming asks curiously.

 

Killian shakes his head, his eyes averting to David's. “No… if anything, it's made me want one of my own even more. And I wish things could go back to the way they were so I could have that chance with Emma again.”

 

“I do too,” David agrees with a warm smile. “You deserve it...  _son.”_

 

Killian is taken off guard as he stares at him in shock, and even David's surprised.

 

“I miss my kids driving me crazy all the time. I miss my exhausting, hectic life with my wonderful wife, and I wouldn't trade it for the world,” David confesses. “I wish I could be a father again.”

 

Killian’s grin widens as he pats David on the shoulder. “You still are...  _Dad.”_

 

There’s a flash of light and David feels a floating sensation, a white glow surrounding his own body and blinding him until he's looking at Killian and holding Ruthanne in his arms instead of Riley. Disoriented, they both look down at themselves before grinning up at each other. Both of them laugh, swarmed with relief. David can't believe that’s all it took to break the spell.

 

Killian stands up and rushes to the mirror by the front door, grinning smugly. “Ah, I'm devilishly handsome again.”

 

*○*○*○*

 

_They clasp onto the other’s hand tightly and securely, both of them gripped with nerves as they patiently wait for the results. After another four months of not being able to conceive, both Killian and Emma decided to get checked out._

 

_He’d never imagined how terrifying this would be. The ‘not knowing’ was torture and honestly, he didn't know how the two of them were able to keep themselves together. But they made it this far, so they're hoping for the best._

 

_When Whale finally enters the room after what feels like an eternity, Killian and Emma sit on the very edge of their seats and hold their breaths, the anticipation growing by the second._

 

_But the expression on the doctor’s face is not very encouraging._

 

_“Well, what did you come up with,” Killian asks impatiently. “Can we have a baby or not?”_

 

_Exhaling a long, depleted sigh, Whale shakes his head. “Afraid not. At least not the natural way.”_

 

_Killian’s heart sinks, his hopes and dreams immediately crashing before his eyes. “And why the bloody hell not?”_

 

_“Well, I hate to say this, Killian, but I'm afraid you're sterile. I guess your three hundred years of existence has caught up with you. You're just too old to impregnate Emma,” the doctor says, unaffected by his own words. “There are other options that you could explore, or perhaps you could adopt.”_

 

_All of the air leaves his lungs and he looks at his Swan, expecting to see the disappointment in her eyes, and sure enough, he sees it surging through her emerald depths. Strings pull at his heart, and he's not opposed to adoption, but he has to admit he was looking forward to having a baby the natural way and going through everything that comes along with it. He knows Emma was too. Now it's clear he will never get that chance. Not with his own sperm, and there's something emasculating about that. It's unnerving. And it doesn’t help that the doctor’s laughing at him, taunting him._

 

_“Sorry mate, you’ll never have babies of your own. Maybe Emma’s better off getting knocked up by someone else.”_

 

Killian’s eyes fly open and he gasps, sitting up, sweat dripping down his forehead. His heart is pounding erratically as he tries to catch his breath, even though he was never in any danger.

 

“Baby? You okay?”

 

The sound of Emma's voice soothes and calms him as he turns his head to look at her. “Aye, it was just a bad dream, love.” He leans down to kiss her cheek, breathing heavily. “Sorry I woke you.”

 

“It’s okay,” Emma murmurs softly as she extends a hand to him. “You’re just stressed out and excited, which is completely understandable. Maybe you’d feel better if you held us?”

 

Killian flashes a weak smile and settles his head back into the pillow, taking her hand. He’s beyond excited, but stressed, not so much. In fact he hasn’t really been stressed in seven months, since before his own body was returned to him. He’s waited a long time for this; they both have.

 

Pulling his arm around her side and laying his hand on her stomach, he snuggles closer to his wife, burying his face in her hair. He tucks his hand underneath her shirt, caressing and rubbing her pregnant belly in soothing circles, falling asleep with the comfort of knowing that in just six weeks they’ll be blessed with twin babies they both made together. Although, if he were to count his blessings at the moment, one hand would not be enough. But he doesn't wish it any other way.


End file.
